The Cropsey Incident Review

     When I was a child I had two ingrown toenails at the local physician's office.  It wasn't two the same day, but within a year of each surgery for my big toes still haunts me today twenty years later when I am simply clipping my toe nails.  Those were two of the worst experiences of my life, until watching The Cropsey Incident.  Now they have been bumped down to two and three, respectfully.
     Where do I begin with this so-called "movie".  I just feel sorry for everyone involved from the actors, camera crew, the pizza provided during breaks, and even the wasted space on the SD cards the filmmakers...I mean people used to capture this abomination.  Did anyone read Filmmaking For Dummies while brainstorming ideas for this between their mothers bringing them Hot Pockets in the basement?

     The story is about a group of Social Justice Warriors who go out into the woods looking for Cropsey, an urban legend in the area.  They then take a local hermit hostage to try to give more views on their live stream feed and document everything Blair Witch Project style.  The real Cropsey shows up and slowly takes out the members one by one.

     What should have been a low budget entertaining yearn turns into a complete mess from the overacting to the whiplash style of editing and title effects that happen every five minutes for the Tarantino effect.  This movie should come with a warning label for people from to seizures from the rapid flashes of light in each montage and I will admit this is the first movie I watched that made me physically ill for all the wrong reasons.  It's a student thesis film shot that is twenty years too late in being hip and cool.   

     Do yourself a favor and stay as far away as you can from this movie.  Your physician cutting your ingrown toenails is much more enjoyable.

0 out of 10 stars


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